It’s because you went away without a trace April 10, 2012
Posted by Tala Chan in emo.Tags: just me
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Somewhere between silence and sorrow is the never-ending question of “What, where, when, why and how?” that until now it confuses me to the core. I simply cannot point the origin of where , when, or what has started this awkward silence that leads to the sudden disappearance. And that series of questions ends to the questions, why and how.
That until now, i still can’t think of words, until the person itself vanishes in the thin air.
Without a trace.
Without explaining things.
…
It hurts so much not to hear your voice, or to receive messages from you via sms or online chatrooms, that you managed to make yourself offline while i happened to be just signed in for today, ignoring me from these past few days makes me think of what i did against you, or did i really did something wrong to you?
Pls tell me what is wrong.
For it hurts so much not to have you near me…
That your silence is so deafening that it slowly kills me…
(Yet) another lesson on thesis defense February 27, 2012
Posted by Tala Chan in emo, thoughts.Tags: defense, thesis, ue
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My Alma mater invited me again to be one of the panelist for the thesisdefense yesterday, and that day’s defense has left me on a sudden realization to many things…
All because I failed a group of students in the said class.
The thesis itself was a total mess. The document was full of grammatical errors, mispellings, image misplacements and lacks important information on their proposed project. Even their proposed system was lacking yet important details that they can’t even utter a word to defend their project…
And sad to say, I gave them a failing grade…and me along with my fellow panelist fave a failing grade also because of the poor standing.
I must say that it is a deserving grade to them but I can’t help but to feel sad for them for they are now graduating students. But hey, I’m just doing my job! And a good friend of mine told me that to pass a poor student who always rely on the good, intelligent ones is like spoiling them to be a bad kid as they grow up. Another one told me that to pass a negligent student is like passing a student who can be a bad example to our society.
Really makes sense. To fail a student is heartbreaking and stressful for me. But at the end of the day after hearing such words from my close friends, it makes me at ease.
After that failed group, somehow I can see myself in them, on how they had failed in so many places. On my part, I recalled the times that I failed miserably in my love life and at work, on how I can cope up with my past mistakes, to reflect on them and to how can I face the world again and back to square one. It is heartbreaking and of course it makes you think that you wanna give up – but it is actually a chance to realize your weakest points and to see what needs to improve, to eliminate, to add and to fix…so that on your second try, you’ll know how to face them with your head up high, and you already know how to succeed on your next try. This process may make time, but a day or two of silent recollection is a big help to help you think of everything that needs to done.
Going back to the university means everything to me. I can’t thank them enough for the things that they had taught me, for I had applied (almost) everything to my chosen field. Though when it comes to the thesis defense, I know in my heart that did well (and also my co-thesis mates), that’s why this is my way of thanking them by giving back all what I’ve learned from them, by helping students to be a role model for all.
Dona la pace signore August 3, 2011
Posted by Tala Chan in emo, thoughts.Tags: grieving
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Dona la Pace, Signore
Da pacem, Domine, indiebus nostris.
Dona la pace, Signore, nei nostri giorni, la pace, Signore;
Chi mai patrà difenderci, se manchi Tu, Signore ?
English translation:
In these our days so perilous,
Lord, peace in mercy send us;
No God but thee can fight for us,
No God but thee defend us;
Thou our only God and Saviour.
It was a shock for me to learn that one of my kuyas when I’m still in UE chorale passed away few hours ago. He was one of my confidantes when i’m still in UEC and for me he was one the sweetest guy I ever encountered. His dedication to choral music is widely seen by many, from the whole of the university group to anyone from the Philippine choral music industry. His childish demeanor to other people and his maturity in performing arts is his uniqueness and his charm… and will forever miss the memories that I had shared with him during my stay in the chorale.
I am forever grateful that I had known such a wonderful soul like you kuya Dong. I know that you are now in a much better place with our God almighty, singing with the angels in heaven. Your sudden passing makes me regret why I didn’t join the group during UEC’s 10th anniversary, but I’m happy that we hugged each other after the chorale’s successful concert. I will always remember that.
I will forever miss your sweetness kuya, and thank you for the memories. I love you and you will be missed.
Mamimiss ko ung time na nagbabatian tayo ng “happy birthday sa atin!” on our birthday… *sniff*
:’(
*Dona la Pace Signore was one of the songs he sang solo when I’m still with the group. This song was also included in UEC’s album.
30-day song challenge-day 4 May 14, 2011
Posted by Tala Chan in 30-day song challenge, emo.Tags: 30 day song challenge, christina perri, glee, jar of hearts, lea michele, rachel berry
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Day 04 – a song that makes you sad
For now, Christina Perri’s “Jar of hearts ” makes me sad because of the recent incident that happened months ago.
And I’m sooo emo, I apologise for that.
PS: Rachel Berry’s version of this song is much more better than the original one. 
To my dearest Auntie April 6, 2011
Posted by Tala Chan in emo, thoughts.Tags: family
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The last time I saw her is when I went back to Manila after a week-long vacation to our province in Roxas City, Capiz last 2006. Mom said she was Papang’s favorite daughter and our Aunties also said that she was the most sweetest of all the siblings. I also remember her calling me “palangga” when she’s with me during our stay in my Auntie’s house, and she helped me gather some seashells to be used as a souvenir before going home.
And that was 5 years ago.
Sad for my mom and my aunties today… for my aunt has now joined our Creator.
To my dearest Auntie Nenet, wherever you are right now, you will be always be missed.
In this pic: Me, Auntie Fanny, Auntie Delia, Auntie Nenet (+), Cousins Francis and Van.
